I hate that Sportcenter Anchor...

At ESPN, working the Sportcenter job is like playing baseball at the Triple-A level, it's a holding pen for the also-ran's and perennially injured. Linda Cohn has been on Sportcenter for 37 years and counting which can only mean she is a no talent hack or ESPN is hell bent on torturing us in perpetuity for not upgrading to a package with ESPN Classic. Prick cocksuckers.

Every other major network has stables full of hot AND talented women. Why is this so difficult? ESPN is the most influential cable station known to man -- they have a market cap just north of France's annual GDP -- and they give us Linda fucking Cohn, a bad-hair Jersey snaggletooth so profoundly bad it makes me want to shoot warm tequilla through my nose.

Do you realize that LC has never, ever come up with a catch phrase, something even every other single sportcenter anchor, no matter how pedestrian, has accomplished. But not Linda. She's a fucking butcher. In 2002, LC had this interesting piece of shit to say:

Virtually every word uttered on the "SportsCenter" set is written by the anchors themselves. "I love bringing that up," Cohn said, "because people don't believe it."

Oh we believe it, Linda, we believe it.